
I won't forget November 6th, when the 4am wakings began to occur. My insomnia had settled down, but after the election, I found myself back to the silent alarm that made me sit up in bed, then wander through to the sofa, in some heightened state.
This particular morning, all I could see was a flashing letter: a large letter F, red in color and vibrating.
What did this mean?
It took me a moment to calm down. As I was sucking a Tum's, I realised.
F stands for FRIENDSHIP. An idea hit me, like a softball on the side of my face,
"Don't you get it?" a knowing voice inside me whispered. "You're being called on to start a Friendship Club!" The answer felt obvious and certain.
But who are my friends? I wondered.
The voice responded. "Have a look at your Facebook page. Think about the friends you know and have, and then consider the folk you would like to know, would like to have as friends. "
"But I am going to have to limit this, " I remonstrated. "Or it will get out of control and I will be overwhelmed."
"Yeah, yeah, sure, sure," said the voice, almost arrogantly. "We both know you do that. Well, why don't you go for 150 people? Out of 5000, that's not too much, is it?"
"Seems reasonable."
" And add this. CALL these friends. Talk to them. Don't cheat, and text or email. Let them hear your voice. Be truthful, and let them know how you feel about them."
"Aye, but I suck on the phone."
"Get over yourself. You will come up with something. I just know you will."
And the voice let me be, though I stayed up another hour, thinking: what would I want from a friend?
The idea became personal. I would pick one Friday each month in 2025, and offer hospitality at my place, my Speakeasy. I would keep it simple. I wouldn't be a den-mother and cook. I would pair the Friday gathering with a local restaurant I wanted to support, and let people order from there. They could pay me by Zelle and I would pick up everyone's orders.
As to drinks, everyone could bring something! We would eat and drink, and then go into the Speakeasy, and people would have the chance to get up and tell a joke, or a story or sing something?
As to how many people? Well, the number 10 felt right. And no more. And each friend could bring one guest, so the number ten might even be the number 5!
Also important was that this was not a house concert. It was going to be "off the grid," not on social media at all.
Why did I want to do it? It was time for me to gather my friends together and offer them a place to be together for a brief period of time, once a month. Just to be together in the real?
Themes started to come to mind, to make it fun. January would have to bear Robbie Burn's name, for example, and the food could come from Robin Hood's Pub, as they have British faire. People who don't eat meat or have dietary restrictions? Well, they could bring whatever they liked, maybe?
The structure started to come together,
Choosing friends was easy, and then not easy. What if I neglect or forget someone? What if I contact someone I admire and want to be friends with, ,and they do not want to be friends with me?
What if no one responds? What if this is a daft 4am idea that has no place in reality?
And so. I began to make phone calls.
You might wonder how that went. There were a very few people who messaged "What is this about?" and were not game to share a phone number. Another person seemed vexed: "I'm busy. I have no money. I don't have time."
I had to accept humbly that this idea just might not float with some people, who might have thought I wanted something.
In truth, I did not. I found myself hungry to hang out. To not have to promote or sell or stream, or push. Most people I spoke with felt the same way. What a relief to just be invited to someone's home, with no agenda. Just to be together.
Before COVID, before social media, before cell phones, in the days of answer machines and awkwardness, we drank beers in rented apartments. We hung out, at a request by phone. Or we just dropped over to say hi. Lots of people still connect to this vibe, and yearn for it.
And lots of people still gather, have parties and hangs.
I was able to talk to lots and lots of beautiful warm funny interesting friends over two and a half weeks. I didn't reach everyone, but I stopped.
My brochures arrived, and I spent time addressing envelopes. Two days ago, I posted all of them.
Now it is a matter of... what will happen? Will anyone respond? Will the brochure sit in a pile? Who will come and then what?
As with any idea, there comes a time when you just have to let go. And this idea seems so right to me. Because. If one person comes, this is enough. Anything can be beautiful. An idea can adapt, if it is in the name of love.
I might still be waking at 4am, but I am learning to move toward FUTURE and not FEAR. The arrow on the dial seems to move between these two.
I can offer and I can prepare, and I can be a faithful friend.
It is a value of mine, and I think 2025 will appreciate this quality.
And so, onward with THE F CLUB. YEAR ONE?!
TBD
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