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The Twisties Meet Girl Power

Writer's picture: Feef MooneyFeef Mooney

Yesterday, I tuned in to Netflix and started watching the Simone Biles two-part doc. I learned a new word. And I found myself relating to an existential phenomenon.

Simone Biles, a "GOAT" describes repeatedly what it feels like to have the pressure of an entire country on your back, as you represent them in performing at the world's first COVID Olympics in Japan.

Unbelievably stunning, having reinvented women's gymnastics in executing what no one else has ever come close to doing, Biles described what is known in performative sports as "the twisties." This is when one's body and mind function entirely separately. There is a breakdown.

In Simone's case, this crash occurred in the public eye, during the Olympics, much to everyone's horror. Commentators remarked, "She has NEVER done this before. Completely unexpected, and not at all like our greatest of all time athlete!"

Biles twisted and looped in the air only to collapse onto the mat, barely recovering. The shame and humiliation must have been profound. After two such events, Simone Biles walked off the mats, put on her hoodie and left the stadium with her coach, not to return, not to compete.

Watching, I was dumbfounded. But I related to "the twisties," on many levels.

As a music coach, I have watched as my clients soar and perform, reaching unexpected beauty, only to then, tumble, seemingly forgetting everything. Pitch problems happen. Tone changes. Nothing is as it was. It feels like we are right back to scratch again. When I try to find out what happened, the most common reply is, " I was overthinking." Or "I couldn't get out of my head."

Self-consciousness, the kind that is doubting and judgmental, is like having your biggest bully

sitting on your chest. A lot of the work I do as a professional vocal coach has to do with conning the client, distracting her. The more I say "RELAX," the tenser things can get.

A lot of thinking is helpful, but a hell of a lot of it is extremely poisonous. We can gaslight ourselves!

This used to be called "being hard on yourself." But lately I am hearing something more like "self-sabotage." We're living in dicey times, when we doubt the veracity of the media. We question everyone. We get isolated. Paranoia is not difficult to own. We feel manipulated, overwhelmed and confused often, and seek relief. We question our mental health.

And so did Simone Biles. What is it like for a society when The Greats break down? Some condemned and mocked Simone. Others understood. Over and over, Simone repeated, "I am human."

And how weird in this AI age. We need to break down. We need to take a break. All of us.

What struck me, even before President Biden left the campaign was this: he must be exhausted.

Age adds extra wear and tear. I could never fathom how he kept a campaign schedule whilst running the country, especially in this time of division, war, environmental change, and gun madness. For that matter, how could the equally old Trump? They are human.

Now that a woman has emerged as the most likely candidate to run for President, I think of "the twisties." Will Kamala Harris be able to withstand the pressures, particularly as a woman and a woman of colour?

But I don't dare overthink this, hence I put my self in a twist.

When you're walking on a wire, as we are all seeming to be doing these days, we need do one thing: look up, and look ahead.

Maybe we have to con ourselves a wee bit. Imagining the worst, collapsing on the mat, exhausting ourselves, is a worse delusion.

Girl Power is real, no matter what anyone says. Women are running things all over the world, behind the scenes, managing, pushing, making change, having children, caring for others.

Deep inside ourselves, we rely on that mothering force. We don't always understand her, but she comes through for us.

Biles is competing again.

And me? I'll keep on singing, swinging and getting the rest of the gang to join in.

That's what we girls do.

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